A Conduit of Mostly Non Mainstream News / Information – without Political Correctness…
“If the couple is not ready for real life and continues to dwell on reel life, fights begin,” says psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty. In most cases, couples who’ve been dating with an intention to get married tend to forget the heavy rock of responsibility and reality that’s soon to hit their lives.
“Dating is the plain sailing phase compared to marriage,” says clinical psychologist Dr Seema Hingorrany. “This does not mean that marriage is not rewarding as an institution, but couples enraptured by the aura of dating may resent the alterations that marriage brings forth, eventuating in turbulence and bitterness in their bond,” she adds. Hanging on and learning the art of negotiation will help you weather the stormy period.
Here are a few signs that your relationship is under stress:
HANDLE WITH CARE
DEFINING ROLES: When you decide to tie the knot, you might assume your partner to take up certain roles (i.e. breadwinner, bill payer, house cleaner, etc) and when he/she fails to live up to your expectations, the blame game starts.
Your way out: Instead of being idealistic, review and negotiate domestic roles. Discuss your expectations and focus on how you can help.
MONEY MATTERS: Varying salaries, spending habits and attitudes makes money one of the top reasons couples argue. Often, one person is a saver and the other is a free spender. This can lead to a great deal of stress when you’re already fairly tight on finances.
Your way out: Define your values. What do you both prefer to spend money on the most (vacations, entertainment, spirituality, etc)? Once you lay that out on the table, you can figure out how to budget your money.
IN-LAWS: Parents often have a difficult time when they are marrying off their son or daughter, and sometimes try to stay connected in ways that can disrupt the marriage.
Your way out: Decide among yourselves how much parental input you want. Respect each other’s priorities and set boundaries with your parents.
RECREATION TIME: While dating, it was okay to watch football or cricket all day and shopping seemed to be a great way to spend the day together. But after you are joined in wedlock, the way you two spend time together can be a source of conflict.
Your way out: Focus on appreciating the things that your spouse loves. Even if you’re stuck doing a ‘not-that-fun’ activity, focus on spending time together, not on the activity itself.